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Best funny quotes about work and office

Funny quotes about work and office

These widely used and trending funny quotes about work and the office are easier to share on social media.

Funny quotes about work

These amusing work-related quotations highlight the comic aspect of the office and the common problems we face on a daily basis. They provide as a fun reminder to laugh at ourselves and not take ourselves too seriously. Enjoy a smile and share these quotations with your coworkers to make their day more enjoyable!

  1. “I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.”
  2. “Work hard so you can buy the things that make you look like you work hard.”
  3. “The only thing I enjoy more than not working is pretending to work.”
  4. “Work: The fine art of avoiding doing anything useful while looking busy.”
  5. “I’m not saying I hate my job, but I wouldn’t mind being independently wealthy.”
  6. “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
  7. “My job is secure because no one else wants it.”
  8. “The best part of my job is that the chair swivels.”
  9. “I have a love-hate relationship with my job. I love the paycheck, but I hate the work.”
  10. “The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
  11. “I work to live, not live to work. Now if only my boss understood that.”
  12. “The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
  13. “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode at work.”
  14. “My job description should just say ‘Professional Firefighter’ because I spend all day putting out fires.”
  15. “I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it at work.”
  16. “Work would be so much more enjoyable if it weren’t for the work part.”
  17. “My job is secure because I know where all the office snacks are hidden.”
  18. “I work well under pressure. As long as the pressure is procrastination.”
  19. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people at work, but when I do, I’m at work.”
  20. “I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.”

Funny quotes from the office

You’ll laugh out loud reading these “funny office quotes” quotations, which will also bring back some of the show’s most funny scenes in your mind.

  1. “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.” – Michael Scott
  2. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott
  3. “I’m not a hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time, just like everyone else.” – Phyllis Vance
  4. “I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the ’60s, I made love to many, many women — often outdoors, in the mud and the rain. It’s possible a man could’ve slipped in there. There would be no way of knowing.” – Creed Bratton
  5. “I’m not a bad guy. I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to hell?” – Stanley Hudson
  6. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” – Michael Scott
  7. “I’m not allowed to ride a bike because I’m too unstable. I’m not allowed to use scissors because I’m too dangerous.” – Dwight Schrute
  8. “I’m not going to be a part of some stupid office prank. Jim’s got it all wrong. If I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, and I had a gun with two bullets, I would shoot Toby twice.” – Michael Scott
  9. “I’m not really sure what I do here. I just kind of sit around and wait for people to ask me questions about myself.” – Kelly Kapoor
  10. “I’m not a fan of this new mandatory yoga. I’m a fan of mandatory sitting.” – Kevin Malone
  11. “I’m not a pessimist, but even the sun goes down.” – Pam Beesly
  12. “I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than when I started this sentence.” – Andy Bernard
  13. “I’m not a hero, but I served in a company of heroes.” – Jim Halpert
  14. “I’m not one to take naps. But I might take a nap. Because I’m exhausted.” – Angela Martin
  15. “I’m not sure if I’m intimidated by you, or just impressed by your coolness.” – Erin Hannon
  16. “I’m not a great salesman myself, but I’ve sold a lot of big-ticket items. Cars. Real estate. My soul to the devil.” – Ryan Howard
  17. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. And I’m also a little stitious about being superstitious.” – Creed Bratton
  18. “I’m not a hero, but I did save a turtle once. I actually got in a car accident trying to save the turtle, but it’s still alive today. I consider that a win.” – Oscar Martinez
  19. “I’m not a monster. I once single-handedly saved a dog from drowning.” – Dwight Schrute
  20. “I’m not a fan of prisons, but I do like the concept of being unreachable.” – Toby Flenderson

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